Whiplash, the Cowboy Monkey

My boyfriend thinks I don't like monkeys. I have no problem with monkeys; I am sure they are charming creatures. Sure, the weird butt ones freak me out some, but for the most part they are an incredibly adorable species. What bothers me is monkeys in clothing, monkeys on tv, monkeys made to look like they are talking in commercials while dressed up in miniature human outfits to shill cars or diapers or mp3 players. It's like a (more) warped version of children's beauty pageants and I find it disturbing. Monkeys in the wild, all for it. Monkeys in the zoo, sort of sad, but zoos are getting better. Monkeys on tv, insulting to both them and I.

Now, I know that the title of this post is by far the most interesting one I have written. If I was coming to this blog for the first time, I would certainly click on "Whiplash, the Cowboy Monkey" first. I wish I had made it up, that I was responsible for some ridiculous cowboy monkey imagery purely from my witty imagination. Sadly, Whiplash is indeed a cowboy monkey. He was brought out during a period break at the hockey game we attended recently as an enticement to the rodeo occuring in the same arena the next day. Whiplash, the Cowboy Monkey, was of course dressed in a miniature cowboy outfit - chaps, vest, hat - and was riding a dog. It appeared that Whiplash's main trick was begin strapped to a dog, while the border collie below him was well trained to spin about and rear into the air, just as if Whiplash were riding a bronco.

It was probably the most horrible thing I have ever seen at a sporting event. And I was at a football game when a referee fell to the ground from a heart attack. I hope old Whiplash is happy with his life, and perhaps he does enjoy riding around on a dog saddle. If he were in a children's book, he would love the roar of the crowd and seeing the world. I'm going to try to believe in that version, casting him as a Curious George type. I hope that version of Whiplash makes it big, except that I still won't want to see him on tv.